I Love You Humbly

I looked at the calendar, located on the table in disgust. Saturday, March 30, 2002, the day of our wedding anniversary the third. And for the third time also Aa 'forget. First birthday, Aa 'forgotten because they have a meeting with the directors to resolve some of the company's financial problems. As finance director, Aa 'are obliged to resolve the issue. Okay, I understand. The issue then is quite complicated.

Second birthday, Aa 'must be out of town to make presentations. Busy making her forget. And after the apology, when I expressed my irritation, he calmly replied, "Brother, after all I've proven my love throughout the year. The day was not celebrated it's fine. Love do not need a ceremony ... "

Now, the morning he had said farewell to the office because they have to prepare some documents meetings. He excused himself while I was in the bathroom. I was deliberately not reminded about our wedding anniversary. I wanted to test it, whether he remembers or not this time. Fact? I took a deep breath.

Wonder, what is hard to remember his own wedding anniversary? I snorted in disgust. Aa 'is different from me. He is calm and not expressive, much less romantic. Thus, there was no interest on the special moments or a poem written on a piece of pink paper as often as I imagined before I got married.

As for me, expressive and romantic. I always gave him a gift with sweet words every birthday. I also do not forget to say many, many times said I love you every week. Sending a message, via sms poems even when he was out of town. Anyway, for me love must be expressed clearly. Since clarity is also part of love.

I know, if I loved Aa ', I must accept what it is. However, cooking the hell people do not want to change and learn? Did not I already taught him to be more romantic? Ah, I'm upset points. And all becomes unpleasant to me. I'm cranky. Aa 'so really sucks in my eyes. I started counting up the time and attention he gave to me in three years of marriage. There is no relaxing weekend. We rarely had time to go out for dinner out. Leisure time is usually spent sleeping during the day. So I manyun myself almost every day of the week and could only look at him sweetly snoring in bed.

Increasingly mad feelings. Moreover, our relationship this week it was not good. We were both tired. Work that piled up in places we work to make each of us met at the house in the same tired and irritable with each other. Be, a couple of times we fight this week.

Actually, today I've emptied all my business schedule. I want to be alone with him today and do fun things. Properly, this Saturday he was off. However, that Aa '. It was hard to leave his job, even on weekends like this. Perhaps, because we have not had children. So he does not feel the need to spend some time on this weekend.

"Hen, you're sure you want to accept the proposal a 'Ridwan?" Diah my friend looked at me puzzled. "My brother was enggak romantic, you know. Unlike romantic husbands often you imagine. He's the kind of man whose hobby seriously hard work. Well hell, pious, faithful ... But enggak humorous. Anyway, life as he was flat. Routine and boring. It contained just work, work and work ... "Diah connect length. I was just smiling all the time. Aa 'was asking my willingness to accept the proposal by Diah.

"You kok gitu, sih? Nah love ya if I were brother-in-law? "I asked with a frown. Diah laugh to see me. "Well, that such a house would not be served. Most left off as a "Ridwan." Diah giggled. "You do not know my brother, hell!" But, whatever Diah said, I have determined to accept the proposal Aa '. I'm sure we can adjust to each other. After all, he was a man of good. That was more than enough for me.

The first weeks after our marriage was not a lot of significant problems. Like a new bride, Aa 'to romantic. And I'm glad. But, all ended when the leave was over. He immediately stuck with their busy life, seven days a week. Almost no time left for me. Enthusiastic story often only ditanggapinya with uh, oh, so yes ... Itupun while hugging sleepily roll. And, I have waited for hours to talk and then lose their appetite to continue the story.

So ... I'm trying to understand and accept it. But this morning, my irritation to truly reach its peak. I consent to the mother's house. I sent sms to him briefly. I'll wait. An hour later I received a new answer. Sorry, I'm in a meeting. Be careful. Hail to Mother. You see. See. In fact, it takes an hour to respond smsku. Meetings, presentations, financial reports, that's a rival who had seized the attention of my husband.

I went straight into my former Riri now occupied by my brother. Kuhempaskan me in disgust. I was just going to close my eyes when I heard a faint knock on the door of my mother. I got up lazily.

"Why Hen? There was a problem with Ridwan? "She opened the conversation without preamble. I nodded. Mother was never to lie. He always managed to guess the telling.

Although initially faltered, I finally talked to my mother, too. My eyes filled with tears. I spilled my irritation to my mother. Mother smiled at the story. He stroked my hair. "Hen, maybe this one Mom and Dad are too pamper you. So that you become annoyed with the attitude of your husband. Try, Hen good thinking. What lack Ridwan? He was a good husband. Loyal, honest and hardworking. Ridwan was never rude to you, diligent worship. He was also kind and respectful to Mother and Dad. Not all husbands like him, Hen. Many people who dizholimi husband. Na'udzubillah! "Says Mother.

I was silent. Well, well what the hell you say. "But Mom, he's very outrageous. Cook his own wedding anniversary three times forgotten. After all, he did not have time for me. I'm a wife, mother. Not just part of the furniture needs to be seen only once in a while. "I'm still pissed. Although in my heart I justify what you say.

Yes, but less romantic nature, actually what lack Aa '? Almost nothing. Actually, he was trying hard to membahagiakanku in her own way. He always encouraged me to increase knowledge and expand wawasanku. He also always encouraged me to be more diligent in worship and always be kind to other people thought. About loyalty? No doubt. [Lowongan CPNS 2009]Diah one office with him. And he always tells me how Aa 'attitude toward female colleagues in the office. Aa 'never serve calls that Anita was not too tired to flirt and ask her out. And if you want, with who always looks neat and cool like that, do not make it difficult to attract the opposite sex.

"Hen, if you feel moody like that, is not really a problem Ridwan. The issue is only one, you lose a sense of gratitude ... "she said quietly.

I looked at my mother. Mom's words really menohokku. Yes, Mom was right. I lost my sense of gratitude. Do not just two weeks ago I persuaded Ranti, one of my friends who stressed that her husband was having an affair with another woman and is very rude to him? Did not I take her to the doctor to treat bruises in several parts of his body because he was beaten by her husband?

Slowly, a sense of guilt arises in my heart. If it was I wanted to spend time with him today, why I did not say in advance so that he can manage jadualnya? Did not I could remind him nicely that I wanted to go alone with him today. Why I did not try to tell him, that I wanted him to be more romantic? That I felt left out because of his work? That I was no longer afraid to be loved?

I quickly say goodbye to my mother. I rushed home to clean house and prepare a romantic dinner at home. I did not tell him. I want to make a surprise for him.

Dinner is ready. I'm preparing favorite dishes Aa 'complete with a series of red roses on the table. At seven in the evening, Aa 'is not back. I waited patiently. By nine o'clock, I just received smsnya. Sorry I'm late home. My job was not finished. The food on the table was cold. My eyes are heavy, but I'm still waiting for him in the living room.

I awoke with a start. Oh God, I fell asleep. I glanced at the clock, 11 hours a night. I got up. Bunch of red roses lay on the table. Beside him, lying on greeting cards and small jewelry box. Aa 'fast asleep on the carpet. He has not opened his tie and sock.

I took the card and opened it. Sebait poem made me smile.

I want to love you with a simple

Through word that did not get delivered

Cloud to the water that makes no

I want to love you with a simple

With that said, could not say

Wood to the fire that made ashes. *

Arti Hidup

Kacau, tak ada lagi yang memahami diriku. Semua membenciku. Mengapa semua ini terjadi di saat yang sesunyi ini? Tak ada yang tahu, bahkan diriku sendiri. Setiap orang memang berhak mendapatkan perhatian dari orang lain, tapi bukan berarti kita harus mengemis dan memohon. Tak dapat dipungkiri bahwa semakin hari semakin sulit menemukan makna dari kehidupan ini.

Bagaimana pun, kita harus menyadari bahwa sebagai manusia kita semua telah ditakdirkan untuk menjalani hidup dengan jalan masing-masing. Tiap orang memiliki jalur yang ditentukannya sendiri. Setiap keputusan berpengaruh terhadap masa depan.

Lalu apakah arti kehidupan kita di dunia ini? Lebih baik tidak usah memikirkan dan meresahkan diri dengan arti kehidupan. Jalani saja apa yang ada di depan mata. Nikmati dan rasakan, jangan pikirkan. Biarkan hidup mengalir apa adanya.

Segala masalah pasti akan berlalu. Ada ucapan yang sangat berpengaruh dalam kehidupan saya, yaitu "selama kita masih hidup, berarti kita masih beruntung". Ya, segala yang kita pedulikan adalah hidup di dunia ini. Entah kita mau sadar atau tidak, tapi kita mempedulikan hidup di dunia ini. Semua yang kita lakukan bertujuan untuk memperbaiki hidup kita, agar kita bisa lebih baik dari sebelumnya. Banyak orang naif yang berbicara tentang hidup sesudah kematian. Tapi bila memang hidup sesudah kematian jauh lebih penting dari hidup di dunia ini, kenapa orang itu tidak mati saja?

Yang paling penting dalam kehidupan kita adalah hidup itu sendiri.